Where in the world has Khusi been….?

Some of you may have wondered what happened to my blog or thought I fell out of the groove of posting, but my computer died back in December so was disconnected from the luxury of easy communication for several months. I have a tablet, but its connection to the internet is weak at best, so likes on FB and checking email was about all I could do. 

My first day at permanent site. My Didi is holding the orange tray. A coffee farmer, Bodraj, is to my right and a DADO, District Agriculture Development Office, junior technician is to his right.

So where to begin?? So much has happened since my last blog. I think I’ll being with introducing my site, Nepali host family, and community. I live in a small village, Shankapur, just off Siddhartha highway, a two lane road that runs north to south through my district, Syangja. I am about 10k (1 hour run, 2.5 hour walk, 20 min bus ride) from the district capital, a large bazaar that has hotels, small grocery stores, clothing shops, banks, electronic stores, printing shops, government offices, and I/NGO offices. I feel like I have the best site because my house it secluded (will explain the set up momentarily), but the main road is easily accessible by foot. When I first arrived at site I would travel to the district capital once a week, but now I usually just wait to buy things when I go to Pokhara (a sizable tourist hangout city) because it’s more fun to go there. Peace Corps gives us 4 days of personal time each month, so I usually use them to travel to Pokhara (only 2.5 hours away by bus).

A cucumber and tomato nursery bed we made at my site.

I thought living in a foreign country would mean giving up all my favorite indulgences of American culture and life, which I have had to give up quite a bit. However, my location has provided a lot of access to (in my opinion) many necessary things like shampoo, peanut butter, wine, razors, etc. I thought having someone ship them to me would be the only way. There are things though that Nepal doesn’t have. Some things I didn’t even realized I liked that much in the States. Like artichoke dip (or artichokes in general), suave shampoo (it’s the BEST! And super cheap!), sweet tarts (OMG I knew I loved them…but I REALLY freakin’ love them), and good tortilla chips and salsa (a craving I get from my mom). For the most part though, Nepal has a lot. Oh, I should mention this because I’m a horticulturalist and good tools go a long way. I have been having a heck of a time finding a pair of loppers – ya know, the very handy tool used for pruning branches that are far from reach or a little too thick for hand pruners. I found a decent option in Kathmandu, but still not the quality you find in America. Basically, some things, maybe most things, you find here are very poor quality.

OK enough of material things…let’s talk host family. Family is really important in Nepali culture, and at times I love it and at other times, I’m totally overwhelmed by the closeness of…well Nepali people in general. There are seven people in my family; however, on average only four live at the house including myself. I live with an older generation, so things are pretty low key and lack privacy hasn't been a huge concern. For some general background information, Nepali’s refer to each other by kinship. If you are a tourist in Kathmandu or Pokhara you may hear someone call you brother or sister. Here is the kinship breakdown (simplified because each community has special names as well):
Hajur Ama = Grandma
Hajur Ba = Grandpa
Ama = Mother
Ba = Father
Didi = Older Sister
Dai = Older Brother
Bahini = Younger Sister
Bai = Younger Brother
Naatini = Granddaughter
Naani = Grandson
Bouju = Older Brother’s wife

A village Ba standing in front of piles of suntala.

Anywho, the list continues for both maternal and paternal sides, and it’s overwhelming. Since I’m considered a super adult among PC friends (over 30), I refer to my host ‘parents’ as Didi and Dai or Sister and Brother. So, like I said, in my family there are seven people: two Amas (they are in the 70s) (my recently deceased Ba had two wives), Didi (30s), Dai (40s), Bhanita (teen), Bhisal (teen), and myself. One of my Ama’s daughter in laws recently had a baby and sometimes stays with us. Also, Bhanita and Bhisal are my host ‘parents’ children, both of whom attend school outside of my district. So most nights I eat with my Didi, Dai, and thulo (oldest) Ama.

Kinship terms are very confusing for westerners because we refer to each other by name. So when I’m talking to my Didi and she mentions another Didi in a conversation, I always have to ask ‘kun Didi?’ (which Didi?). She laughs, but it’s a pretty legit question that I’ve actually heard kids ask because they are learning too. Funny thing though, my language teacher in PST said it’s confusing for her to hear about our US families because she always wants to know who is older/ younger or whose uncle on which side we are talking about. I never thought about it from their perspective.

My family is in the Gurung caste. This caste is an indigenous group that moved down from the high Himalayans several thousand years ago to become agronomist. My family’s first language is Gurung (it sounds very similar to Chinese), but now the younger generations first language is Nepali and Gurung is their second. Gurung’s are considered 'lower' caste although, in my community they are considered a ‘higher’ caste. I’m guessing since Nepalese believe in a hierarchy among people, they shake out hierarchy among the different castes in the immediate community. My community is mainly Gurung, Magar, Boudi, and Daulit. Gurung’s are known for being a fun group of people, and in my experience, this is true. Most nights we sing and dance or poke fun at each other. They are very accepting of other religions and cultures (sometimes). They don’t follow strict rules like other castes. They eat most meat (no beef or pork), my Didi doesn’t follow menstruation rules, they can drink alcohol (although it's kind of taboo) and my Didi and Dai have a more equal relationship. My Didi is Buddist and my Dai is Hindu, and both practice to their own level of comfort. I often see puja (worship) flowers at the door ways, Hindu and Buddist statues or pictures in our house, and we have a small mandir (temple). My family in PST was Brahmin, and I would receive tikka (the red powder on the forehead) almost every day, but in my current host family, we only wear tikka to special events or festivals. Gurungs, like other ethnic groups in Nepal, have a particular style of dress they wear to weddings and festivals. I actually prefer this dress to saris (the colorful cloth you may have noticed Indian and/or Nepali women wearing in the States).

Gurung traditional dress on the woman in the middle. The woman on the right is wearing a sari.

My community is made up of mostly suntala and vegetable farmers. The area was chosen to be a ‘suntala pocket’ because of its favorable climate and elevation. My house is located on a terraced slope, and houses are spread pretty far apart. It is humid and wet (like mold in my room kind of wet). When I first arrived, the fog would linger until 11 am sometimes. Needless to say, monsoon season is going to be super fun! Even though I’m close to the main highway, I feel pretty isolated (a good thing!). Some days, I can garden for a few hours without seeing anyone. This made meeting people really difficult at first, but now I feel comfortable walking around and hanging out with neighbors. My family owns over 1,000 suntala trees. The ages of the trees range from 16 yrs to about 2 yrs. I have been helping my family out a lot in the orchard. Since the orchards require a lot of work, the community works together during high work season, Nov – March. Things have slowed down with suntala now, and we are focusing on other things like vegetable gardening, chicken production, and mushrooms.

A few village women and myself after a long day of working in the suntala orchard.

My Didi and I chillin'

My Didi has become my good friend and counterpart. We work most days together. She is a very special lady because she has the patience to speak slowly so I can understand and learn Nepali better. She also loves to talk agriculture with me. We brainstorm ideas for projects and how to get other people in the community involved. I really lucked out with my host family, especially since my Didi is there. I’m excited to see how our relationship strengthens over the next year and a half.