Leaving Nepal

My first day at permanent site Syangja. 

My 3rd host family and community counterpart.

My Didi giving me tikka.

My Didi, community counterpart and best friend in Nepal. Tir Maya Gurung is such an inspiration for Nepali women. 

I'm so glad that everything fell into place as I left Nepal. I guess now I'm still listening to my intuition and trying to keep an open mind about not being in Nepal anymore. I miss Nepal and my friends like hell some days, but then other days I'm so glad to be home with Drey (well we still have 6 or more months of long distance) and finishing school.

That being said, it's super nerve racking knowing that where I conducted the 'meat' of my thesis is on the other side of the world. While in Nepal, I had no guidance as to how a project should be developed and implemented. Now I have lots of guidance, but no opportunity to go back and tweak things. There might be an opportunity to return for a follow up study, but that is funding dependent. With my adviser and committee in the States and me in Nepal, it was hard to bounce ideas around. I had to borrow land from my community, set up my plots, apply treatments, and explain to the community what I was doing. Meanwhile, I was a volunteer too. This caused a lot of internal conflict. Did my project become more important than my community? This was my biggest concern. I didn't want that to happen. I involved them in the process as much as I could, and we came across many 'teachable' moments for both me and the community. The study was on soil/ plant fertility, so all the cauliflower that we produced was safe to eat and went directly back to the community.

What I learned...hmmm...oh man...so so much. I mainly learned a lot of random things about myself. OK top ten.

I learned.....

1. What I could handle and what I couldn't. This ended up being completely different than what I anticipated before moving to Nepal. Bucket baths, no toilet paper, babies peeing on you, vomit or spit getting splattered on you, no heat/no AC, walking a lot, sweating a lot, public transport, explosive diarrhea, laundry by  hand, burning trash, and Nepali time were all things I handled well. Getting cut in line, getting ripped off, people speaking quickly despite me asking them to slow down, dhal bhat twice a day, no privacy, being told what to do or being corrected (like how to sit), little structure, domestic violence/ alcoholism, and the general patriarchal attitude were things I did not handle well.

2. People all over the world are the same. SO SAME. We pick our noses, somehow our own odor (I thought that sounded better than BO, but basically I'm talking about BO) smells kind of good (ok, until a certain point maybe), we eat, fart and burp, we trip and fall, as we get older our bodies deteriorate, we cry/mourn when a loved one dies, if we cut ourselves we bleed. However, for some reason we feel the need to point out our differences. But all people do it so again we are SO SAME.

3. That I LOVE public transportation, especially when the bus is cruisin' down a mountain, packed full of people (and small livestock), and Nepali music is blasting. By far, hands down, my favorite! oh so what did I learn here? Traffic rules in the US are waaaay too strict for my liking.

4. That even when you don't want to, you should put on a sari and dance. An awkward white girl trying to dance Nepali style can make anyone laugh. This is kind of a metaphor for the philosophy that doing something for others *when you don't want to* can result in feeling better/happy in the end.

5. If your learning a language, speak it as much as possible. You will make mistakes, and that's OK. To be honest, most of the time you don't even know you're making a mistake.

6. Even though you may feel totally integrated into your community, try not to reply with 'huh?' or it's more like 'eeeh?'. That is rude. At least say 'kere' or 'toro' (what did you say? - informal). - A lecture I got from Hajur Ama (Grandma)

7. You will fall...multiples times...no matter how strong/fit you are.

8. Perky Bean can heal your emotional wounds with milk shakes. Nepalita in Pokhara has the best pizza. You will never find a decent baked good anywhere in Nepal.

9. I have the ability to feel every emotion on the 'human feelings spectrum' in a couple hours or less.

10. Do not eat anything you don't want to. Even if the whole village wants you to. JUST SAY NO. Respect your bowels. Exploding diarrhea is real!!

Group N201 our first couple days in Nepal

I learned so much from each person in my group. Before leaving, Sarah A asked me what my favorite memories are from this experience. I've had lots of time to think about all the memories, and most of them include everyone in our group. Every person in my group is a gem, and I just hope you guys know how much I love you. This is what I've learned from you and/or my favorite memories of you in alphabetical order by first name.

Aaron R - You're first international experience can be in a developing country.... in the far far west... for two years. You are killing the PC Nepal game! And it's ok, maybe even cool, to say things like 'go get 'em tiger!'

Aaron W - You are the master of communicating with simple hand gestures and eye brow raises.

Alti - Be yourself. And when in doubt do your own thing. Preach on Sista!

April - Details are very important. I knew I could count on you if I called you about a rule or procedure. That time we ditched a DADO office meeting (thanks to a simultaneously received txt from Chetana) to meet Melissa for momos.

Celine - Smiles. Bubbles, Hearts. Rainbows. Peace. Trees. Mountains, Love. Unicorns. Awesomeness. And some days you just need to wear a wolf shirt. You light up a room with your enthusiasm and positive energy!

Chelsea - The amount of snacks under bed is legendary. Your ability to bring a pizza home in one piece from Pokhara makes you the champion of the Nepal game. You can put away more chocolate (I should just say food) than anyone I know. Ok, so all my memories of you include food. LOL. You have the biggest heart, Baini! You will be my little sister from another mother forever!

Cheng - From you I learned that you can be a BA PCV (twice!) and suba dive, hike, and go on other amazing adventures in your 60s. You're my role model! Also, on a more work related note. I was so impressed by your schedule of when you met or will meet farmers with their names and phone numbers. That's a great idea!

Chole - You are great at personality matching everyone with Disney characters. My inner Robin Hood will be with me for a long time.

Craig - It's possible to be chosen as an extra in a movie with a missing tooth. I never thought I'd be friends with you b/c of your serial killer boots and 'what's your vice, Kyle?' question, but alas we are good friends. That time in Seattle when Karen, Mel, Elie, you, and I danced for what seemed like hours at a lesbian bar and then we Bolivian exited you. Again, sorry bout that.

Elie -  During the earthquake evacuation we all looked like train wrecks and then enter Elie. Cue Justin Timberlake...'As long as I got my (Nepali made) suit and tie'.  And then you sweat through it in the airport. I'll always remember kickin' it in Seattle.. and how I witnessed a three person tier (?) jump into the lake...and they all survived.

Emily - Your language is probably still better than most of ours and you were only with us for a week and a half.

Garret - So the fruit photos is the greatest idea. You have come up with some of the best ideas for trainings. Basically, you are excellent and creating and executing ideas.

Jaael - You're a fashionista to the max. From braids to an afro you always looked flawless. Sneakin' drinks and painting nails in Kimberly's bedroom. And your adorable Mickey (I think?) onesie.

Jaime - Your are the person *I Think* I look like when I dance. I know I'm not even close. Your intuition is so spot on it's scary.

Kimberly - Running 12-15 miles at least once a month in Pokhara with you was a life saver. And then of course Perkey was the best post-run reward. :) Your dreams and goals never fade, and you allow your faith to guide you no matter what anyone says. That takes real courage. PS. I bet Blues Bar misses your improv singing. I know I do.

Kyle - You give the best hugs, which (btw) too bad I didn't find that out until I was just about to leave. Sample hugs should be in the PSN application process. Your photographs...Oh man..so good! That time you lip synced when everyone else wanted you to Karaoke. You won us over though with your lip sync skills. 'I am the one...who dance... on the floor.... in the round'

Leala - You are an inspiration for feminist, but more importantly all women. The work you did at the health post and your ideas with bringing sexual health into Nepali schools is inspiring!

Luke - I'm not sure what you are up to these days, but I imagine it involves crossfit or working out (hey, I totally respect that. I love excising).

Lyle - Oh Flounder. We never spoke much... probably because you are Flounder and I'm Robin Hood. Flounder fish and woods (wo)men rarely cross paths. When you left, I have to admit, I was slightly jealous of your new job. And sincerely, I hope that's going well!

Melissa - You taught me that your best friend can be almost 10 years younger. Coffee dates in Merdi. Coffee dates at Perky. Coffee dates at Brown Bread. OMG Brown Bread! The only thing that would make peanuts and mango juice better is ...... yep you guessed it. Pouring beer into nalgenes because, yea, we are adult women living in Nepali villages. Sometimes dancing to Justin Bieber over and over and over with your friends is the best coping strategy. I'm still doin' it here.

Nat - The three legged cow story will go down as the one of the greatest stories of all time. That time that kid threw up on you. You handled it like a champ. Your blue bluegrass shirt. Drinking airplane bottles of liquor up at Poon Hill with Aburns and Melissa.

Sacha - Your hair! --JK!!! I mean I do love it though :) You taught me that misunderstandings can be resolved. I remember our deep and thoughtful talks, and wish for more. That time we Karaoked with youtube and a brush. Facials in KTM, which helped our souls more than our pores. You got everyone together for my send off party ot MST. Thank you SO much! It meant a lot!

Sam - You had the best lips in the group, but now Melissa holds the title.

Sarah A - You friggin' rock at dancing with a lighted hula hoop. I really liked when you led the group yoga classes. Your tone of voice was so soothing. And I always think about the metaphor you told about being a small seedling and that in order to be balanced we need to nurture our seedlings (souls) so they can bloom into something beautiful. I wish you and Daniel all the best in your lives together!

Sarah H - You are the sweetest person I know. Not even kidding. Even when you complain, all I see/hear is sweetness. Also probably the most introverted person I know, but I only know that because you told me your myers briggs %. ;)

Simon- Be your most professional self at all times. It helps to put a blazer on. If we had superlatives like high school, you would definitely be most likely to succeed.

Stephanie - You stick to your morals at all cost. You taught me that confidence can be learned in one year. No matter the situation, you give it your best shot. I'll miss running into you in Pokhara at the Butterfly Hotel.

Stewickie - the only portmanteau I support. :) I didn't witness V throwing popcorn at obnoxious people, but still one of my favorite stories.

Zach - Last by certainly not the least. I love how easily you converse with people.You respect privacy, which is hard for many of us in PC. Your smile is contagious. I love looking at your instagram, now that I have a smart phone again.

What's next you ask?

I'm going to live my life! Yea, I have no idea!

Some of you know the tattoo on my side. It's a stanza from one of my favorite poems, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. Since my early 20s, whenever I face internal struggle (which is often and in PC it was very often) I read this poem. I also really like 'The Invitation', a poem that Sarah H and Celine introduced to me.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, 

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,

even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. 

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, 

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble, 

it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism,

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, 

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nature strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune,

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. 

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. 

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.  

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in you soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. 

Max Ehrmann